Here I am. The age we all wait for. I'm an adult. 
Sure, now I can open a bank account, vote in elections, sue or be sued, but how cool is it that I can buy a fish from the pet store?

I've had the best 18 years and I'm excited for everything in store for me in the future. I honestly am so grateful and hopeful for what comes next. 

For the past couple years I've written posts, posted pictures, and made videos at the end of each year and talked about how far I've come. This is the first time I can say that I loved this year. I can confidently say this was the best year of my life. 

I did so much. It's impossible to show everything, but I'm gonna try.

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

​2018 was a year where I learned a lot. It's not that I didn't struggle like I did in the past couple years, but its that I learned to cope. I found a new happiness that I never want to lose. I've learned to love myself and my life. 

2018 was amazing for me. Because I pushed myself to be happy. 
Here's to an even better 2019!

-Diana

So it has come to my attention that my senior year starts tomorrow.
And this is a very big deal for two reasons.

1.) I have dreamed of my senior year ever since I saw High School Musical in 2006.
2.) This is my year to start fresh and do my best

When I came into high school I genuinely thought it was going to be like HSM. I mean I knew everyone wouldn't be theater nerds who sing for everything, but I had a "squad" of friends, I had a good schedule, and I figured I would date and have a boyfriend, a 4.0, and the main role in the musical pretty quick. 

But high school hit me like a ton of bricks because within the first semester, my mental health took a dive that I wasn't ready for. My grades failed, my friends left, and I was completely unprepared. I starting sluffing school, lying to my parents, and I just became very unhealthy mentally, physically, and spiritually and I just kept getting worse. One thing after another happened and I just kept spiraling. Last summer I decided to start anew and fix things. So I got a job that made me get out of the house and into the sun, I made friends, went out on adventures, and had the best summer possible. And then junior year I worked hard and got honor roll every semester and a 4.0 for the first time.

I still struggle with mental health almost every day and I have to constantly work to keep up my physical and spiritual health. But senior year is my year. The year where I work even harder, get even better grades, and do my very best. 

This year I have great friends, a great schedule, and all the optimism. 
Here we go folks. (oh dear, pray for me)

​-Diana

Today I had an encounter with a student my age today that believed that prejudice doesn't exist in the workplace and in society. As we discussed how other races are at a disadvantage, he said "everyone has the same opportunity, they just choose not to work their ass off ". I told him that "they have the opportunity to work, but some families don't have the same position which makes the work harder on them...some people are born into a life with higher schools, money for extra curriculars, and don't have to worry about college while others are born with a single parent or a broken home where they have no money or time for college because they are working to feed their families." He replied with "Life isn't fair". 

He also continued to talk about how "feminism is actually retarded". I wasn't angry. Everyone is entitled to a opinion and I respect that, so I gave him the opportunity to explain his position. He chose not to, other than saying that "there is no reason for women to go to college because they're just going to go get married to a husband who had a job". I didn't really know how to respond, so I didn't. But later, I found a video about Feminists and Non-Feminists finding common ground peacefully, so I sent it to him. And he said it was "probably the dumbest thing I've ever seen". 

When he had expressed that he didn't support gay marriage and the LGBTQ+ community a couple days earlier, I hadn't said anything because everyone is entitled to an opinion. But when he had shown that he was homophobic, sexist, and racist, I still let him have his opinion. I gave him mine, but I have learned that you can't change someone's opinion by being harsh. If I yelled at everyone who expressed their opinion, it would only continue the hate.

Ignorance is not bliss, so educate, but with love. Everyone only wants what they think is best. 

​-Diana

Tomorrow I turn 17 years old. 
​
When I was in second grade, someone asked me what my favorite number was and I said 16 and 18. When they insisted that I could only have one, I settled for the middle of the two numbers that represented ages I was so excited to reach. Landmarks I was amazed at.

Now I am 17 years old. The number that has turned out to be so lucky for me. The number that I now will pick in a heartbeat. A little choice I made when I was 8yo is now a part of me that I never want to let go of. 

What an insane 17 years it's been, and I'm grateful for every second of it. 

This year was a memorable one. I started off the year in pain. I felt alone and worthless. Somehow, I still continued to live. I woke up every morning and continued on. And by doing that, by pressing on and working hard, it was the best year of my life. 

snow days, turned 16, first ballroom competition

odyssey adventures, ballroom, youth activities, first date

state odyssey, ballroom competition season, dating

out of school, new car, odyssey worlds

first job, trip to timpanogos, goodbye to cousins, girls camp

summer adventures, youth conference

said goodbye to lifeguarding, finished off summer

homecoming, school activities

crimson colony, ballroom, halloween

sadie hawkins, school musical

ballroom, christmas, driver's license

​It has been a hell of a year. I have grown so much and for the first time in a couple years, I ended the year with the same people I started it with. Below are my favorite pictures of me from this year. They each represent a life changing day and show strength and happiness which I hope to hold on to. 

If there is one thing from this whole year that I will take with me, its that I am strong, I am beautiful, I am smart, I am kind, I am wonderful, and I have the power to choose my life. 

Never lose hope my friends. Keep breathing, smiling, crying, laughing, feeling, living. 

Here's to another amazing, beautiful, wonderful, glorious year. 

I would stand in front of my mirror and wonder why God made me so skinny and tall. I would wait for everyone to fall asleep so I could cry alone. I would pray for peace of mind because I couldn't remember what it felt like to be genuinely happy. I was sick of being in a constant state of anxiety. I was tired of acting like I was getting better so that people would act like they cared. 

I've realized that even though I had people that loved me and I had a truly blessed life, it's up to me to be happy. I am really the only person who has control over me. I am the only one who can assure myself that it's all going to be okay. I am the only one who can work hard and fix my situation. I am the only one who can put on a smile that will stay.

So even though life sucks most of the time. Even though it's guaranteed that you're gonna get a bad hand at some point. Even though the truth hurts. We have to live for those little moments of happiness. The summer nights with adventures past curfew. The spontaneous hangouts and long drives with the windows down. The feeling you get when you feel yourself starting to fall in love. The laughing that hurts because you can't breathe. The seconds of life that makes it all worth it, what wonderful things to look forward to. 

"Pain demands to be felt" but when it's all over, you can laugh at all the inside jokes, memories of stupidity, and moments that made it all worth it.

And who knows, maybe I'm just a young woman who doesn't know anything, but from what I've learned, the only way to be happy is to be patient, understanding, and hopeful. And sometimes you might need to dance in the rain, kiss somebody, build a fort, or run barefoot because life is short and beautiful and it is definitely an adventure. 

Sometimes life gets overwhelming to the point where you want to stop living it. I went through hell last school year and so when school started I had to mentally prepare myself just so that I could stay sane. 

I was blessed with wonderful teachers and an almost holy schedule. I have amazing friends that are always there for me and my mom started working at my school this year, giving me a safe space I could always run to. ​I had everything anyone could want from a school year, and yet my heart still hurt.

I began listening to music that I had saved on a playlist for over a year. It made me feel secure that someone had felt as I did and was brave enough to write music about it. 

I listen this when I'm alone or when I want to drown out the world around me because frankly the world is a messy, scary place and everyone needs a way to cope with it all, this is mine. 

"Learn how to cope, sweet friend. There will always be dark days."
-Kris Carr

There's really no other way to describe it other than magical. Adventures and inside jokes have been born that will live forever. 

I'm sad to see the long days and warm nights go, but life goes on and I'm sure I'll have a million new adventures in the cold months that are approaching. 

Thank you, Summer, for making life incredible.
​See you next year.

Love, Diana

It's officially been 6 months since my family's England trip, but today is particular is 6 months since the best day of my life. 

​Ever second of it seemed surreal. I couldn't shake the smile that I'd had since the moment I turned the corner to see my first look at downtown London. 

We walked inside and sat down, trying to plan out what we were going to do. My dad then looked at me and said, "I know this is your department, where do you want to go?" I was shocked, I thought my dad was going to lead us around as he had the entire trip, it was his trip after all. But he didn't, he let me take the reins. I stood up and ran towards the signs that pointed towards Greece.

I walked into the first room full of pots, paintings, and even a stone casket. I took light, quick steps and tried to absorb the realness of it all. I had seen replicas and millions of pictures, but this was more incredible than I ever could have imagined. We continued to the next room and the next, each full of new wonders. My family followed behind me, watching me gaze upon the artifacts I had only dreamed about.

I eventually realized that there was too much to see, and I had to keep it quick. So, I moved on through giant metal doors to see the most incredible statue. My heart stopped and I forgot to breathe. The beautiful Aphrodite stood before me, I never dreamed I could actually see her. 

I circled the statue a couple times and enveloped myself in the the mystery and beauty of the original statue. That's when I happened to look over my shoulder to see a large crowd around one specific display. 

Slowly, I walked over and confirmed what I thought it might be. My heart flew and my eyes watered. The actual Rosetta Stone was in front of me. I felt my way through the crowd just long enough to get a million pictures and process it. It was so beautiful. I was actually only a couple inches from the famous rock that made Egyptian study possible. 

We visited the Egyptian section and it was also amazing and after that we did a little Anglo Saxon stuff. 

   
But taking a walk through Ancient Greece was an incredible experience that I'll never forget. I hope to someday visit Greece and Rome walk the streets that the great people of myth and legend walked so long ago.